30.4.02

CLASSIC:
"Le camarade de chambre de mon ami est un cochon"
-This makes me think you'd like The Black Sheep even if only for the joke about les cinc hochons
HAHA: Apparently, I've come across 'philosophers' who have never read Hume, Kant or Popper. To wit:

"In saying that God has the freedom and power to do that which is logically impossible (like creating square circles), you are saying that any discussion of God and ultimate reality cannot be constrained by basic principles of rationality. This would seem to make rational discourse about God impossible. If rational discourse about God is impossible, there is nothing rational we can say about God and nothing rational we can say to support our belief or disbelief in God. To reject rational constraints on religious discourse in this fashion requires accepting that religious convictions, including your religious convictions, are beyond any debate or rational discussion."

Naturally, what they neglect to mention is that this only can be true if we limit all possible debate to what is coverable by epistemological reason. But, as (take your pick) Descartes/Locke/Berkeley/Kant/Hegel/Kierkegaard/Heidegger/Popper/Wittgenstein demonstrate, epistemological discourse (the 'basic principles of rationality') is only an arbitrarily chosen set of rules designed to reinforce science as a discipline by making scientific discourse the only vehichle for talking about reality. If that seemed circular, well, that's because it is.
Our esteemed philosopher group quoted above is wrong, of course, if we base debate about God in some other way of doing things, generally either the existential or the ontological. And, of course, this is to say nothing of the tradition within what Kierkegaard would call the 'Religious' sphere of existenence to rely on the credo quia absurdum, but I'll spare y'all on that lecture.
And, of course, it in no way follows from allowing God to do the 'logically' impossible that rational discourse about God is impossible.

28.4.02

NOTES FROM AN EXILE:
Well, my first full day back in Midland, but I tried to make the most of it anyway.

27.4.02

IDEA (thanks to Camille for the suggestion): for a dream: Kermit the Frog and I discuss existential crises and angst whilst fishing and singing "It's Not Easy Being Green." It should be quite lovely.
NOTE FOR DARA (If you read this before you get an e-mail from me): When I went to pick up my Italian exam, I couldn't help sneaking a peek a your grade (the inner competitive streak, I guess). And if I hadn't been an idiot, I would've taken yours and posted it to you along with everything else. Oops.
REASONS I HATE MIDLAND: It's supposed to snow tomorrow. Snow! And it was 85° two weeks ago... what is the world coming to?
REASONS I LOVE MY HOUSE: Coming home, going downstairs, and seeing the magazine with Kirsten Dunst on the cover, then going upstairs and seeing the one with Kristen Davis on the cover. Sometimes reading too much is a good thing.
Well, I finished moving out without too much in the way of stress... I had to throw out my roommate's printer and fan, as per the instructions of the RA who was checking me out. And, kiddoes, this means I'm halfway done with college. Scary thought for you? Even scarier for me.

26.4.02

THINGS MY IDIOT ROOMMATE LEFT BEHIND:
-A pair of pants
-Laundry detergent
-His carpet
-His printer
-His poster (Dara knows which one I'm talking about... I ripped it up before I threw it out, dear)

25.4.02

STATING THE OBVIOUS AWARD:
"Nick, you get most turned on by personality!"
-My Emode.com results for the Sexual Turn-On Test. Like I didn't know that already.
Well, now that my classes are over (hahahahahahahahahaha) I figured I recap what I learned this term:
1. Never, ever take a class on logic under any circumstances whatsoever.
2. ...

That was fast.
HAHA: interestingly, though, I've never had a friendship with parting gifts before.
Incidentally, thanks to Claire and Camille for the concern... it wasn't an end-of-the-world sort of thing, but it does change a few things for me, for awhile (you will both find this out tomorrow, I'm sure, after my exams)... I cannot adequately express how much it means to me, but, well, you're both wonderful. But you guys already knew that... hehehe
An apology to everyone: today was just not the day for me to be my usual smart-ass self. I will return to normal shortly.

24.4.02

THE CONVO: (as I remember it)
"Nick: The grass is green... the sky is blue... what more is there?
Dara: Well, a lot of things.
Nick: True.
Dara: But still. Yeah."
FROM someone incomparably important to me, and for, I hope, someone else incomparably important: here

23.4.02

QUOTE:
"I know-- from painful experience-- that there are lots of people out there who subscribe to the bumper-sticker slogan 'peace through strength is like virginity through f**king.' I had to argue with such folks through all of college (and much of high school). Such statements are black holes of stupidity--idiocy is crammed into such a small space that it folds upon itself and bends all reason and logic in its proximity. If peace cannot be attained through strength, I invite one of these bespectacled, purse-carrying, rice-paper-skinned, sandalistas to walk out into a prison yard. Let's see how receptive Tiny and Mad Dog are to entreaties over the futility of violence. 'Sir, there's no need for fisticuffs, I would be glad to share my Snapple with you. Can't you see this sort of conflict is precisely what the multinational corporations want?'"
QUOTE:
"I know ? from painful experience ? that there are lots of people out there who subscribe to the bumper-sticker slogan 'peace through strength is like virginity through f**king.' I had to argue with such folks through all of college (and much of high school). Such statements are black holes of stupidity ? idiocy is crammed into such a small space that it folds upon itself and bends all reason and logic in its proximity. If peace cannot be attained through strength, I invite one of these bespectacled, purse-carrying, rice-paper-skinned, sandalistas to walk out into a prison yard. Let's see how receptive Tiny and Mad Dog are to entreaties over the futility of violence. 'Sir, there's no need for fisticuffs, I would be glad to share my Snapple with you. Can't you see this sort of conflict is precisely what the multinational corporations want?'"
-Jonah Goldberg
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE:
NRO and The New Republic Online run virtually the same story about the idiots running Saudi Arabia. When the Left meets the Right, something is definitely weird.
AT IT AGAIN:
I think Victor Davis Hanson has been reading his Illiad, since he tops last week's Nestor metaphor by comparing Sharon to Ajax, the important but scorned Greek fighter. To wit:
"Yet the reality was that his [Sharon's] soldiers were far more humane than Russians who blew up entire neighborhoods in Chechnya. His men probably killed fewer civilians than did our outnumbered and trapped heroes in Mogadishu. Unlike the Kuwaitis, Sharon did not ethnically cleanse Palestinians; unlike the Jordanians he did not murder them in the thousands; unlike the Syrians he did not wipe out an entire town and pave it over; and, of course, unlike the Arab heroes, Nasser and Saddam Hussein, he did not gas civilians.

No, he sent combatants house-to-house, to pry out killers from boobytrapped parlors, in narrow streets where gunmen shot and then ducked into living rooms. No matter-- he was Mr. Sharon and his soldiers were Israelis, and so the world dammed this new Sherman come alive. A corrupt international community that ignored thousands who were beheaded, incinerated, and blown apart in the Congo, Bosnia, India, and Rwanda has demonized him for a "massacre" in which less than a 100 Palestinians were killed in efforts to apprehend the murderers among them."
LINK:
The Yale Standard rebuts the claim that a couple of Yale's prominent founders were slaveholders and racists. Good quotes:

"Minor errors pepper the slavery report, and some of them are chronological. For instance, two separate pages record that Timothy Dwight the younger became president of Yale in 1881, when in fact he became president in 1886. Leonard Bacon is said to have graduated from Yale in 1783. That would have been a remarkable feat: Bacon wasn't born until 1802.
But the writers of the slavery report commit a major chronological blunder when they have Timothy Dwight, in administering the wills of his grandfather and grandmother Jonathan and Sarah Edwards, participate in the sale of their slaves. The fact is that in August 1759, when those wills were executed, our Timothy would have had to be one very precocious seven-year-old to be executing wills or selling slaves."
EUROPEAN ANTI-SEMITISM (a tautological term):
"Indeed, it appears that the many of Europe's leaders are itching to go after Israel. They are sickened by the vision of a Jewish state at war. Europe considers Israel's actions against terrorism to be more inhumane than the behavior of Iraq. More to the point, either the Europeans' sanctions threshold for Jews is very low or else their tolerance for collective Jewish defensive action is paper-thin.

Europe hates it when Jews fight back. Maybe that explains why Germany is halting shipment of parts for Israel's Merkava tank, even as it supplies Iran with parts for its long-range missile program. Maybe it explains the beatings and desecrations and riots against Jews in France this time around. Sixty years ago, Jews were in denial and in fear and in shock. This time we are ready, determined, and not surprised. We had hoped far better from Europe but did not expect anything different than what we have seen and experienced."
-Robert Goldberg on NRO
WHEN you're day begins with hearing that one of the President's senior advisers is resigning, you know it's going to be a good day. Is Karl Rove next? We can only hope.
QUOTE:
"You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. Perhaps you do carry within you the possibility of creating and forming, as an especially blessed and pure way of living; train your for that - but take whatever comes, with great trust, and as long as it comes out of your will, out of some need of your innermost self, then take it upon yourself, and don't hate anything. But those tasks that have been entrusted to us are difficult; almost everything serious is difficult; and everything is serious."
-Renier Rilke

22.4.02

"Can we break up into search parties and look for Hanes?"
-What I wanted to ask when, after telling us what I just wrote below, the GSI asked if we had any questions. Sadly, I didn't
HANES MUTHAF#$!in' WALTON, AWOL: Well, it seems my PS professor has disappeared... he missed the meeting with the GSIs this morning when they were supposed to write the exam. This meant that the review session I went to this evening was particularly worthless. Whenever the person in charge begins with "I don't really know what you need to know... but I can give you an idea" you know there's going to be trouble. I found that statement doubly shocking because, heck, I don't have any idea what will be on the exam either... always nice to see the people in charge failing around helplessly.
DAVE SAYS:
"Yes! I just got 3.7 GB of music from one of my friends. Unfortuantely I have to organize it all, which will suck (not to be confused with orgo-nizing). If anyone wants to do it for me, feel free to go ahead."

Obviously, he didn't get the music from me, because I have 8.7 GB of music. But I suppose you have to start somewhere, son, and that's better than nothing.
HAHAHA:
"While I'm on Arthur Miller, I might as well tell my favorite Arthur Miller story--at least, I think it's an Arthur Miller story. I heard it once; don't know whether it's true.

Miller meets an old high-school classmate in a restaurant. The classmate says, 'Art? Art Miller? Good to see you. It's been years.' He then asks Miller what he does for a living, which takes the famous playwright somewhat aback.

Miller: 'Um, I'm a writer.'
Classmate: 'Really? That's great. What do you write?'
Miller: 'Um, plays, mostly.'
Classmate: 'Plays? Terrific. Any success?'
Miller: 'Did you ever hear of Death of a Salesman?'

The classmate gets wide-eyed. For a few seconds, he can't speak. Then he says, 'You're Arthur Miller?'
-Jay Nordinger on NRO
RALPH NADER, POLITICIAN AS USUAL:
He's been found out. To wit:
"Eighteen hours earlier, I had watched the Nader 2000 crew engage in a far more flagrant manipulation of the truth, more egregious than anything else I witnessed during my two months covering the campaign for the lefty news site WorkingForChange.com. Even before the first preliminary exit poll data crossed the wires, young staffers, on the orders of campaign headquarters, were frantically devising multiple formulas to 'prove' that Nader didn't cost Gore the election, no matter what the results might say later. 'That's shocking,' I told one of the harried idealists charged with carrying out the deception. The faces around the computer, for what it's worth, did not register any surprise."
--From Reason Magazine, of all places. The libertarians come through for once.
MOSQUE SEE TV!!!:
Proof that FOX News isn't totally evil:
"Sesame Arab Street
For children. Join lovable Grover, Big Bird, Elmo, Bert and Ernie as they sing songs, learn the alphabet, and offer hateful tirades against America and Israel's latest political and military plans.

Semtex in the City
Drama. Three young Palestinian women discuss dating, romance, and bomb concealment techniques.

Politically Correct
Talk. A panel of guests from CNN, The New York Times, and The Washington Post congratulate each other on their analysis of current world events. Tonight's topic: We All Think That Israel Is Wrong.

Law & Order
Educational. Each week, a different Western leader attempts to explain the concepts of "law" and "order" to Palestinian Authority chairman Yasser Arafat. Three hrs."
LINK: Great article from Salon about anthropology and politics. This is primarily for Dara's benefit, but other people might enjoy it, too. I certainly did.
QUOTE:
"And while the History Channel plays up The Unknown, PBS is hooked on solemn, dull demystification. The omnipresent Antiques Roadshow must be the template for this buzz-kill approach to anything that might inspire even a trace of wonder in adult or child. Hopeful people show up with totemic heirlooms; experts give them a rote provenance and a price. Whether they've got a winner or a loser, the Roadshow participants always look a little stunned. They bring faith and hope to the show; what they get is expertise and cold cash."
-From Salon.com
QUOTE:
"Thongs Join Anti-Israel March in Germany"
-the New York Times, April 14, as quoted by Howard Kurtz
QUOTE:
"While he describes his present politics as "on the left socially, on the right economically," he remains a politician to whom the adjective "fascist" can be applied as not just an epithet but a description."
-Christopher Caldwell of the Weekly Standard, on the French Presidential candidate Jean-Maire LePen

21.4.02

QUOTE:
"and no, you are not tripping, that is an emu"
-From King of the Hill
CLASSIC:
"Fortunately, the World Trade Center was not an EU aid project, so the French are far less mad at Osama. 'The great question facing us all today,' declared one old acquaintance of mine gravely, 'is how to halt and reverse American power before it destroys the world.'

'No doubt many agreeable dinners will be devoted to exploring this question,' I said, ordering another cognac. Everyone professed to 'understand' how America felt about September 11th, but more importantly they also understood how everybody else felt, too.

'Your Mister Bush,' said his wife, a chic lawyer, 'he sees always the B-movie western: America is the good guy so her enemies must be the bad guys.'

'Well, in the case of al-Qaeda, he's not actually wrong, is he?'

Pitying looks from around the table. 'Bush is crippled,' said someone else, 'by his Rambo view of the world.'

'I very much doubt Bush reads Rimbaud,' I said."
THE FROGS ARE AT IT AGAIN: Apparently, if you want to win an election in France, the solution is obvious: Racism! But at least the Socialists won't have a candidate in the Presidential elections for the first time since 1969...
FINALLY: For the inner nerd in all of us, there's the New York Review of Books' review on three new tomes on James Madison, the profoundly anti-democratic patriot who made America what it is today. If you've taken any intro to American Politics class, you've read The Federalist Papers, so you already know that. But it's always nice to read about people who seem freshly shocked by that revelation. The way in which the article disses the first book is especially nice.
TRUE: As the New York Observer would have it, smart, successful women are hot. In the words of the old Motown song, I second that emotion. Now, I've always been an advocate of that position, and it's nice to see part of the mainstream press coming out and supporting me on this one.
A Black linguistics professor takes Cornel West, formerly of Harvard, now of Prnceton, to task for contributing to the infantilization of black male academics. Now, as much as I love Cornel, and as much as he changed my life, I have to admit the man has a point in his piece. Damn.
AHA: Now I know what I've been doing wrong all this time! I feel so much better.
THE New York Times Does a nice little write-up on Wlico and their new album (due out Tuesday!)
IT'S SUNDAY: and yes, I should be studying for my two exams tomorrow or studying for the two I have on Thursday. Instead, I did some reading.

20.4.02

"Player's Anthem." Junior M.A.F.I.A. With Notorious B.I.G. Got to love the xylophone. Something to keep me from becoming unhappy.
IT'S 8:30 IN THE MORNING: Do you know where your roommate is? I don't.

19.4.02

DO YOU THINK LIKE A LAWYER?
Find out! What is/ are the operative word/s in this headline from CNN.com?
"Police say 'compelling and significant' circumstantial evidence implicates Robert Blake in the shooting of his wife."
Let me know what you think!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE CONSERVATIVE WHEN: Texas newspapers think you're too conservative. I hate Tom DeLay.
THE MOOSE TAUNTS ME:
"Of course, it is still not clear whether [Former UN General Wesley] Clark is a Democrat or Republican. Nor do we know what his views are on domestic policy. And, the Moose will concede that it is not entirely clear that Clark is the answer to the Democratic woes. That stated, Democrats, or any other party for that matter, would be well-served by a nominee who is a southern - or western - military hero who is an outsider (alas, the Moose just couldn't resist being elliptical).

So, the Moose asks whether the Democrats will ab-stain? More importantly, is the mention of General Clark only a stalking horse for the Moose's hidden agenda?

The Moose works in mysterious ways!"
Cool
Thanks to Camille for pointing this one out.
BEST OF METAPHORS:
"They [Europe] are rapidly becoming little more than an old windy Nestor ? wordy, impotent, and full of empty advice about a glorious past in someone else's busy present."
--Victor Davis Hanson on NRO
LINK:
Edward Said in The Nation on the Palestinians, of course. He hits all the bases:

The Jews control the media and American foreign policy:
" The monstrous transformation of an entire people by a formidable and feared propaganda machine into little more than militants and terrorists has allowed not just Israel's military but its fleet of writers and defenders to efface a terrible history of injustice, suffering and abuse in order to destroy the civil existence of the Palestinian people with impunity."

The ever-popular evasion of historical reality:
"In 1948 Palestinians lost 78 percent of Palestine. In 1967 they lost the remaining 22 percent. Now the international community must lay upon Israel the obligation to accept the principle of real, as opposed to fictional, partition, and to accept the principle of limiting Israel's extraterritorial claims, those absurd, biblically based pretensions and laws that have so far allowed it to override another people."
This, of course, neglects to mention why the Palestinians lost those territories... because they lost wars in the course of trying to destroy Israel and exterminate the Jews.

It just makes me mad, that's all.
BACK TO BLOG: I'm finally combobulated, after a long day of work, and an even longer (though spectacularly amazing) evening. Here goes

18.4.02

THINGS I WILL BE DOING THIS SUMMER:
1. Taking Claire to Fishbone's
2. Taking Claire to see The Scorpion King

Looks like my dance card is beginning to fill up... haha

17.4.02

NOTE: Tara, not Dara. That is all.
As a result of conversation with Tara, I will be taking a wrie brush and cauterizing iron to my brain. Thanks!
Just kidding, dear. The Cartier ring is being ordered as we speak.
BAD NEWS, CLAIRE: I think I found my wife. And she's southern!
CALL ME A McCAINIAC:
For all of us on the hard center-left (I think that was a joke), The New Republic dissects a potential McCain bid for the Presidency much as yesterday's Washington Monthly article did. Things to salivate over:

"McCain, in other words, now believes in progressive government to counteract the excesses of the market and recognizes that the mere fact that business interests complain about such intervention does not by itself make it wrong. There is a term for people who think like this: Democrats."

And, more importantly, reason to believe this fact has not escaped the man himself:

"It's strange that amidst all the political gossip about a McCain third-party candidacy, Washington has barely considered the far more logical possibility of a McCain second-party candidacy. Last summer one senator informed Newsweek that McCain himself has discussed the idea. "'I know he's looked at our field and said to himself, 'I could take these guys,'" the (presumably Democratic) senator explained."
QUOTE:
"Love,
Me (who the hell else?)"
-On the vicissitudes of personality
A FOOTNOTE:
This is what happens when I have to write on the spur-of-the-moment. 'Friend' seems largely inaccurate, but for linguistic purposes, it's close enough. But it's not large enough. Ah, well, you probably know that anyway.
IF YOU NEED TO KNOW, YOU'LL KNOW: "Balance Beam"...I like that one. I feel safe admitting that surprised me.
BACK TO THE EGG: Classes came to an end today for those of us at U of M, and, surprisingly, I'm kind of sad. I feel like I never really connected with my classes like I normally do (and I can only blame Dara for that in two classes-- haha). And I'm halfway through my college life. It's all downhill from now. Where the hell did all of that time go? I hate to think that so much of it was wasted being unsatisfied. Then again, considering how happy I am now, maybe it was worth it.
THE OTHER POSSIBLE DEFINITION OF ME:
"A gentleman is never rude except on purpose - I can honestly be nasty sober, believe you me."
-Christopher Hitchens, though he's trying to dispel the notion that he's an inveterate alcoholic. But that presumes I'm a gentleman, and I believe the jury's out on that one.
ME, DEFINED:
"Martin Amis recalls that when he went out to Cyprus to be best man at Hitchens' first wedding in 1980, he would spend his mornings lazing by the pool, whereas The Hitch would appear mid-morning in a suit and go straight to the bar to find someone to argue with. He won't allow anything to interfere with a good argument; that's why he sits down to meals and then never eats them. He admits that, 'Between talking and eating it would be a hard day in hell before I would eat rather than talk.'"
-From The Guardian on Christopher Hitchens' new book
QUOTE:
"Heeey I just met/ hung out with the Guster guys Adam, Brian and Ryan... That was a good concert! Have a good night, I am going to sleep! "
-Camille

My only real question is which one is, as I refer to him, "the guy with the floppy hair who bounces around onstage like a Muppet with one foot nailed to the ground"
DRAMATIC UNDERSTATEMENT:
"Wouldn't you just love to know what's going through McCain's mind right about now?"
-from The American Prospect Online, on the Washington Monthly article I linked to yesterday and today's New Republic article on the idea of his running for President as a Democrat
FILE UNDER: Insanity. National Security Adviser Condi Rice is on the short-list of Republican candidates for President in 2008. Frankly speaking, there'd be nothing worse for the Democrats than to have a black female Republican run, because she'd almost certainly win. Fortunately, she has other job prospects in mind. If you didn't love football before, it's a wonderful reason to start.

16.4.02

Nutters
: I'm thinking about that McCain/Giuliani ticket. I suspect Al Sharpton would have a conniption, which is, to my mind, all the more reason to go for it
CLASSIC:
"I'm like... freakin'... Annie Get Your Clothes On"
-Carrie Bradshaw
SOMETHING ENCOURAGING FOR MY CATHOLIC FRIENDS: From Brooklyn, of all places.
LINK: John Derbyshire reviews D'nesh D'Souza's book What's So Great About America. Note, as Mr. Debryshire does, that there is no question mark in the title.
THE FROGS ARE AT IT AGAIN:
"The headquarters of anti-Semitic Europe today, just as during the Third Republic, is Paris. Every day brings news of another violent crime against French Jews and Jewish institutions, a wave of violence that most of the French oppose, but which the government of Jacques Chirac and Lionel Jospin has tolerated, even indulged, for far too long. Paris is also the headquarters of anti-American Europe. The latest expression of French anti-Americanism--aside from books claiming that the United States blew up the World Trade Center itself--is concern for the life of Zacarias Moussaoui, a French citizen and, according to the Justice Department, the would-be twentieth September 11 skyjacker. The U.S. government has charged him with six counts of conspiracy and will request the death penalty, which France abolished in 1981. The prospect of citoyen Moussaoui's execution has driven official Paris apoplectic."
- From The New Republic
WHY 2012, you ask? Because, if the Washington Monthly is to be believed, the best shot the Deomcrats have of winning the Presidency in 2004 is with John McCain, who just might be convinced into formalizing his almost total conversation to the center-left cause. I, of course, salivate at the prospect, because what's not to love about McCain? Note to the Democratic Party: while you're stealing from the Republicans, pick up Rudy Giuliani, too. McCain will need a Vice-President.
LINK: Jennifer Granholm, now poised to become Michigan's governor (assuming she doesn't blow it), mostly because the men running are too polite to point out her many flaws. Or so says the Wall Street Journal. Realistically, though, I think they're afraid of the Clinton/Granholm ticket in 2012.
QUOTE:
" To limit the profile of Akhras to the fact that she went to school and did the laundry is a little like telling us that Charles Manson likes mustard on his burgers and is a huge fan of the LA Lakers. "
-From a Jerusalem Post rebuttal to that horrid New York Times piece on the female Palestinian suicide bomber and the girl she blew up.
JUST KIDDING: of course. Claire is inifinitely more serious about school than I am.
MMM: Life all good serious students (I'm looking at you, Claire), I didn't go to my class today. Actually, that's not quite true. I went, and was there for about two minutes, when the GSI announced we were going to be having class outside. I had barely managed to drag myself from the room in the first place, only to go to a review session (the most worthless kind of class possible), which was going to be outside-- therefore, nothing would actually be accomplished. So I went down the stairs, out the door, and when everybody else turned left, I turned right and walked around for the hour instead. I love college.
QUOTE:
one of my all-time favorites, rising to the top of my head for any number of reasons:

"When one is continually surviving the worst that life can bring, one eventually ceases to be controlled by a fear of what life can bring; whatever it brings must be borne. And at this level of experience one's bitterness begins to be palatable, and hatred becomes too heavy a sack to carry."
-James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time
I KNEW IT: Noam Chomsky is a fascist, or at least well appreciated by them. Oswald Mosley would be proud!!!

15.4.02

AS THEY SAY: A spoonful of sugar helps the hyperbole go down
LINK: I know what you're thinking: "Sure, Nick, there's the whole intafada thing going on, and that war on terror, and the Catholic priest scandal. The world's in pretty bad shape." Well, if you think things are bad now, they're about to get worse: we may soon have interspecies competition for the planet. Yes, you heard me right. Psycho, isn't it? It's like the ants are getting together and forming their own little nation-states. If they keep up urbanization at this rate, we'll be facing the Ant Aristotle and the Ant Julius Caesar. You laugh now, of course, but when your kids decide they want to major in Ant Studies when they're off at college, we know who wil have the last laugh. The ants, that's who.
SCARY: Kate Spade, she of the wonderful and omnipresent handbag design (such clean lines... so simple... so elegant) is related to David Spade, he of... [shudder]. What is the world coming to?
WISDOM OF WALTON:
"I am ashamed to say I invited Clarence over a few times... but everybody messes shit up."
-On living in Georgia and dealing with Clarence Thomas
INTERESTING: little article on the comparisons with modern popular culture and ancient Greek culture. Wonderful, and a must read. Maybe I should subscribe to the Wilson Quarterly.
THE GLOVES IS OFF:
Claire challenges:
"60%... take that nick and cammie!"

I had a long, rant-like list of witty responses to her challenge, but I realized I came off a little bit bitchy, which, I suss, is undesirable. So I tip my hat to Claire, and the dubious, yet rightfully earned, honor of being Most Addicted to IM. Congratulations.
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Iain Duncan Smith (yes, I did, in fact, spell that correctly) was making sense during Prime Minister's Questions on C-SPAN. Fortunately, as a sign I have not lost it entirely, Tony Blair did do pretty good. And he's still funnier.

14.4.02

PROOF: That, my longstanding thesis to the contrary, not everything associated with Spain is evil. Apparently, they can do good things, too.
NAN'S TIP OF THE MONTH: (from Vanity Fair)
"Wish you could decant just the right amount of shampoo or conditioner from the bottle? Keep a shot glass in the shower! If your friends look askance, just remind them of their own tragic battles with alcohol."
MY PESSIMISM, DEFINED:
"ctowns87: Tomorrow is national *LoVe* day...if you want your crush/boyfriend/close friend and you to have something special happen tommorow...send this to 10 people in 15 mintues or you'll have bad luck with love in the next year
NotByronDorgan: well, I'm screwed"
CLASSIC:
"no, if they are drunk enough, what you are wearing will not be as important as what you AREN'T wearing"
How does a freshman with no job get the money to eat at Zingerman's? I suspect he's dealing drugs. It's the only explanation. The DEA and I are onto you, son.
I am 48% addicted to Instant Messenger. This makes me over twice as addicted to IM as Camille. I don't think anyone is surprised to hear that. Find out for yourself.
THERE IS: Nothing finer in life than the New York Times Style Section. To wit
HAHAHA: hhahahahahahahahahahahaha
And, I should note, as befits her role as omniscient narrator in my little personal play, she managed to make sharp and unusually accurate observations about the various aspects of my current situation, leading me to conclude once again that she, in fact, knows everything. But best of all, she predicted good things for me. Wonderful.
WORDS OF WISDOM:
"The more I live, the more I'm convinced the only way to go through life is to be independently wealthy."
-My sister, on life after college
INTERESTING: Every time I look at Camille's information on IM, my program crashes. Are you trying to send me a message, dear?
SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT: Bully for me! I have a record number of readers!

(just don't ask what that number is)
QUOTE:
"(and daisies are truer than passion flowers)"
-R.A.L., from Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain
NB: One of those typically brilliant things that David Brooks always writes, taking to task America-haters. Kind of.
TRAGEDY: They looked so good a week ago.

13.4.02

NEWSFLASH: I went to all my classes last week. That's the first time that has happened since... uh... either the first week of the semester, or the end of my Freshman year! Oy!

12.4.02

ONE OF MY GIFTS: The ability to think that anyone's away message on IM simply must be about me. Modesty and egolessness are another two.
QUOTE: Truer words were never spoken:
"If I wanted to be bored by 6000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times"
-Lewis Black
QUOTE:
"More enthusiasm! Don't act like you're just waiting to leave. That's our job."
-On my evaluation of my Italian GSI

11.4.02

I love spring. The sun comes out, you start to feel warm again and you have the insatiable desire to skip classes. Fortunately for me, I'll be able to indulge that last one in two weeks... But I know it's spring for good when two of my particular musical tastes jump to the fore: country music and rap. A sunny day is nice, but a sunny day and "Awnaw" by the Nappy Roots is better. Or "Supa Ugly" (Jay-Z). Or "Spring Again" (Biz Markie). Mmm... spring in Ann Arbor. I hope y'all are jealous.
THE EPITOME OF MODESTY:
"RoseBriarD: I AM THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
QUOTE:
"It was in the age, at which one became for Pony or one ballet hour own parents in the sleep ermordern."
-BabelFish's trnaslation of Camille's 'darkly comic' quote. Could someone tell me what ermordern means?

10.4.02

ROOMMATE WATCH: Today's question regards his cellular phone use. If he desires to shout into his phone, he is certainly capable of doing so anywhere outside the room where it will not unduly bother me. Does he recognize that it is a mobile phone?
OKAY: This is funny because, while I was walking back to the dorm, I passed my GSI. He said hey. I said hey. He asked me why I wasn't in lecture. I told him we were done for the day. He didn't believe me. It took me about five minutes to convince him. And we both went on our merry ways.
OKAY: Hanes was a little pissed today. Or he was happy about the weather and wanted to get us out of class early. Anyway, he gets up to the front of the auditorium like normal, and starts telling us about this chalk he got for the class which had disappeared since Monday. Not having chalk, he told us, class would be short today. True to his word, after twenty minutes of lecture, he gave us is trademark double-peace sign which normally means class is over. We all sat there, thinking he was joking. He looked at us for a minute. Then he walked across the stage, picked up his coat and walked out the door, admonishing us that he's said class would be done early. We all laughed for a moment and left.
WISDOM OF WALTON:
"Shit, he disappears more than the Vice President!"
-On Al Gore
D'OH:
"Language ideologies can also incorporate language attitudes, attitudes about language."
-From an overhead in Linguistics lecture. I hate that class
QUOTE:
"Well, yeah, it felt good. But not as good as hitting her with a bat."
-Me, to Dara, about writing nasty things on our Linguistics professor's evaluation form.

9.4.02

DELINQUENCY WATCH: My roommate is drinking tonight. And he hasn't been to class yet this week. I predict he will be on academic probation forthwith!!!
WARNING:
"davniner: i will dedicate myself to disproving everything you post, whether it be your list of things that make live worth living or factual events in your life
davniner: i will claim you are lying about your daily occurences
NotByronDorgan: as long as you get more people to read mine, it doesn't matter to me"
HAHA:
"davniner: in an attempt to make you prestigious site once-again, I have a riddle for you that is kind of funny
davniner: *your
NotByronDorgan: okay
davniner: what makes the french the way they are?
davniner: (try to guess what it is first)
NotByronDorgan: the traditional split between jacobins and jesuits?
davniner: well, yeah, but this is supposed to be a wiity answer
...
NotByronDorgan: what makes the french the way that they are...
NotByronDorgan: they have a certain je n'en sasi quoi?
NotByronDorgan: sais
davniner: actually its "je ne sais quoi"
NotByronDorgan: whoop
NotByronDorgan: s
...
NotByronDorgan: okay... then I have no idea
davniner: so do you give up nick? are you surrendering?
NotByronDorgan: much in the manner of the french, yes
davniner: i was hoping you would say "i give up" to which i would counter "exactly"
NotByronDorgan: I'm sorry
davniner: oh well, i guess you are a pitiful human being
NotByronDorgan: you're certainly not the first to posit that hypothesis"

8.4.02

THE OTHER JOKE:
"The Franciscans, as you well know, are so named because the came from France. The Dominicans, of course, were from the Carribean."
--Me, being extremely heretical
COMEDIC BRILLIANCE AT IT'S FINEST:
"I have two footings"
-Me, pointing to my feet, to Dara, while our professor was lecturing about footing and frames in linguistics. She didn't think it was funny.
WAIT A MINUTE: My life was horrible back then. I would like to formally retract my sigh.
SIGH: I remember when that used to be a running joke, back in the good ol' days
IT'S NOT GOOD OR BAD, IT'S JUST AN OBSERVATION: Anyone familiar with the seminal works of Sly and the Family Stone, the Smiths and the Rolling Stones who dislikes all of them ought to be forcibly expelled from the human race. Just a thought.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING'S WEIRD WHEN: You come back to your room and your roommate is sitting in just his boxers at his computer. Freaky.
SWEET: Larry Miller (who some of you may remember from his "Five Stages of Drinking" bit which was replayed endlessly on Comedy Central for a few years) on Milton Berle in the Daily Standard.

7.4.02

AMEN: John Derbyshire lets 'em have it on NRO:
"I am a Christian. I acknowledge Christ as my Redeemer. I attended Holy Communion this morning, took the blessed sacrament, and prayed with all my heart, along with the rest of the congregation, for peace and justice in the world. Yet if the IDF were to flatten the Church of the Nativity and kill all the gunmen holed up in it, I wouldn't mind a bit, though I'd hope for the hostage priests to somewhow be spared. Look: the War on Terror is a W-A-R. We shelled Montecassino, didn't we?"
YOU KNOW GOD IS TAUNTING YOU WHEN: the girl who rejected you last term comes in and tells you all about her current boyfriend.

5.4.02

INTERESTINGLY: according to their website:
"Thank you for signing our petition to Take Back The Prize.

You are the 216500th signer."

Bully for me
YES
NICE:
"Well, almost finally. If you don't have enough to keep in mind as is, you might take some selected grammatical advice from Fumblerules by (Nixon speechwriter, one of many right-wing editorialists for the "liberal" New York Times, capitalist-thug apologist, self-appointed Czar of the CIA-backed War on Bad Grammar) William Safire:

No sentence fragments. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read. A writer must not shift your point of view. Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it when its not needed. Write all adverbial forms correct. In their writing, everyone should make sure that their pronouns agree with its antecedent. Use the semicolon properly, use it between complete but related thoughts; and not between an independent clause and a mere phrase. Don't use no double negatives. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Avoid commas, that are not necessary. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. The passive voice should never be used. Writing carefully, dangling participles should be avoided. Unless you are quoting other people's exclamations, kill a ll exclamation points!!! Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Use parallel structure when you write and in speaking. You should just avoid confusing readers with misplaced modifiers. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences--such as those of ten or more words--to their antecedents. Eschew dialect, irregardless. Remember to never split an infinitive. Take the bull by the hand and don't mix metaphors. Don't verb nouns. Always pick on the correct idiom. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. "Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'" Never use prepositions to end a sentence with. Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague."
Fortunately for me, I only have to wait another 30 years. And hope she doesn't get married.
HEHEHE:
"4/5/02: a day to remember... i received my first marriage proposal"
--Claire's away message. I wonder who the lucky guy is.
THOSE D#$% EUROFFS: At it again:
"It?s hard to make fun of the European Union ? we?ve all tried, but they keep outdoing us. A few years ago, we had some laughs over the EU?s edict on condoms: They had to be a particular size, Europe-wide, no variations. But what about the relative endowments of Frenchmen, Germans, Swedes, Italians (or northern Italians and southern Italians), Bulgarians, Laplanders, and so on? Surely the euro-condom would be too snug for some, too roomy for others? But socialism can?t think of such things. Socialism decides in offices, regardless of the realities among people.

Then the EU issued a decree on the curvature of bananas (pardon the relation): We kid you not. Our David Pryce-Jones used this as a jumping-off point for a lengthy and excellent article on the bullying, Orwellian, and demented nature of the European Union.

The problem is, as I mentioned, that you can?t make up stuff about the EU, can scarcely joke about it. A couple of weeks ago, the New York Times?s brilliant music critic, Bernard Holland, had a piece on Europe?s crackdown on noise, including the sounds made in concert halls. The EU is threatening to impose a ?workplace decibel limit of 85 without earplugs, 87 with them.? This limit does not go far enough for some, who favor 83.

As a result, ?European musicians are not happy,? as Holland (the critic, not the country) says. The director of the Association of British Orchestras protests, ?It will virtually stop us playing any loud repertoire whatsoever.? But musical considerations leave Brussels unmoved. Said one of its ?health and safety? spokesmen, ?Noise is noise. It doesn?t matter whether it?s Tchaikovsky or a power drill.?

It?s both chilling and flattering that more and more Europeans, if they want to live and work in something like freedom, have to come here, to the United States (French techies in Silicon Valley, for example)."
In other, more happy news, "Our Lips Are Sealed" just came up on my MP3 list. "Doesn't matter what they say/ In the jealous games people play..."
Which means, of course, that my march to the Right continues unabated. Scary.
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: I agree with Tom DeLay about something. To wit:
"During four decades of terrorism, Yasser Arafat has proven his total contempt for human life. We should support the Israelis as they dismantle the Palestinian leadership that foments violence and fosters hate. . . . [Arafat] has no credible role to play in solving the crisis. . . . No one should expect the people of Israel to negotiate with groups pursuing the fundamental goal of destroying them. We should begin by rejecting the idea that the United States should somehow be a disinterested party mediating between two good-natured nations earnestly striving for peace. The time has come to drop the empty pretense that we can serve the region as a mere broker. The defense of freedom demands more from us than a value-neutral brokerage. It is time for us to stand squarely against the terrorist organizations that systematically attack Israel.?

2.4.02

BANTER: with Camille, well worth noting:
NotByronDorgan: according to my IM warning, your link in your prfile contains characters "that could pose a security risk."
NotByronDorgan: From this, I can only conclude that you are in cahoots with terrorists
NotByronDorgan: or that whatever you're linking to is really, really bad
NotByronDorgan: needless to say, I will be turning your name over to the FBI
NotByronDorgan: :o)
NotByronDorgan: but if you could send me that link, I'd love to see what it is
AutomaQuee: it was a link to britney spears' song lyrics
AutomaQuee: so yes... I am in cahoots with terrorists... if by that you mean ms. spears

RELEVANT EXCERPT:
"12) Bush has a scorecard in his desk—three pieces of paper with photos and bios of al-Qaida leaders. When one of them is killed, he marks them with an X."
HILARIOUS: Mickey Kaus takes Woodward down a notch.

1.4.02

Well, I still like Indiana better, anyway. Though it's hard to argue with a slogan like "Fear the Turtle"
But it was still the worst basketball game I've ever watched.
GO FIGHTIN' WHITIES!!!
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: The Wall Street Journal is re-designing their front page. With color! What's next, pictures?
FUNNY: If you're a dork (which I am): Roll Call's April Fools' Cover
CLASSIC, II: "HEHEHE: add to the list of things that make life worth living: smart girls who are also hot"
FUNNY BUT SAD: May you never have understand this:
"P.S. to the last: Anyone who can say anything coherent about Hegel thereby acquires a license to quote W. H. Auden's brilliant clerihew on the old bore, as follows:

No-one could ever inveigle
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
Into offering an apology
For his Phenomenology."
CLASSIC:
"NotByronDorgan: You're Raskolnikov to my Razumikhin if you will
AutomaQuee: wait i am trying to dissect that..."