Anti-Climacus

LINK: This strikes me as a really good exposition of the problem that some within the evangelical community have from time to time:

"These people [anti-dating advocates] wish to create such a a fear of dating in young people that they will wait to date until they are mature enough to do so with proper respect and self-control. Unfortunately, this fear does not magically disappear when the people mature, but rather lingers on. In addition, the resulting lack of any substantial personal interaction with people of the opposite sex makes it nearly impossible for these people to begin venturing out. Dating suddenly becomes a major life event that is greatly magnified out of proportion. Rather than just being a time to "hang out" and have fun, a date becomes greatly magnified in their minds, such that considering asking someone out on a date requires the careful thought and consideration of asking the person to marry them."

I'm not unsympathetic to the argument that God puts the right person in front of you at the right time (I mostly think that's true in most cases), but the extreme view seems to lead to total passivity: part of what my dating experience, but moreover, my experience having a large number of close friendships with women has taught me is that there are a lot of wonderful character traits that I have a lot of respect for, but absolutely no desire for in the theoretical girl I wish to marry. More importantly, dating experience has taught me that what you're actually looking for is not what you think you're looking for. And I think you miss out on all of that if you go the Courtship route instead.