QUOTE: Why my roommate is the embodiment of everything wrong with men:
"So, did you finally get some?"
-My roommate, as I walked in the door after spending the evening with Dara.
"Thou shalt not extinguish thine anger, but shall master it,
that thy conscience may not be blunted by adjustment
to wrong causes."
-The Dutch Ten Commandments to Foil the Nazis
26.3.02
THE LEGENDARY: New and overly-bloated list of Things That Make Life Worth Living, reposted because I need to see it again, therefore all of you do, too:
1. Miles Davis albums from the 1950s
2. Woody Allen movies, pre-1980
3. "Waterloo Sunset" by the Kinks
4. The first and third seasons of Sex and the City
5. Rembrandt (and Vermeer)
6. Caramel Machiattos from Starbucks
7. Christopher Hitchens and Andrew Sullivan on TV, discussing politics and culture
8. The Critic (especially the theme music)
9. The last two pages of Franny and Zooey
10. The #49 from Amer's, on an onion roll
11. The knowledge I will never again have to read War and Peace
12. Wednesday nights: two episodes of Friends, three of Law and Order, The Bernie Mac Show, The Job, and the knowledge that I have no responsibilities for the next 24 hours
13. Phone calls, when you know someone will be there to answer
14. Will and Grace
15. Sartre
16. the feeling of a W.B. Yeats poem
17. trying to remember the face of the girl you just met
18. The new J. Crew catalogue
19. Pizza from the In 'n' Out after spending too much time at the Grad
20. mix cds
21. Natural light
22. Morrissey interviews
23. Testament of Youth
24. The first side of 12 X 5 by the Rolling Stones
25. The Atlantic Monthly
26. Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet
27. The Go-Go's
28. "Memphis, Tennessee" by Chuck Berry
29. "Hot Fun In the Summertime" by Sly and the Family Stone
30. Talking to Claire online
31. Dinner with Elizabeth
32. Saturday nights with Dara
1. Miles Davis albums from the 1950s
2. Woody Allen movies, pre-1980
3. "Waterloo Sunset" by the Kinks
4. The first and third seasons of Sex and the City
5. Rembrandt (and Vermeer)
6. Caramel Machiattos from Starbucks
7. Christopher Hitchens and Andrew Sullivan on TV, discussing politics and culture
8. The Critic (especially the theme music)
9. The last two pages of Franny and Zooey
10. The #49 from Amer's, on an onion roll
11. The knowledge I will never again have to read War and Peace
12. Wednesday nights: two episodes of Friends, three of Law and Order, The Bernie Mac Show, The Job, and the knowledge that I have no responsibilities for the next 24 hours
13. Phone calls, when you know someone will be there to answer
14. Will and Grace
15. Sartre
16. the feeling of a W.B. Yeats poem
17. trying to remember the face of the girl you just met
18. The new J. Crew catalogue
19. Pizza from the In 'n' Out after spending too much time at the Grad
20. mix cds
21. Natural light
22. Morrissey interviews
23. Testament of Youth
24. The first side of 12 X 5 by the Rolling Stones
25. The Atlantic Monthly
26. Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet
27. The Go-Go's
28. "Memphis, Tennessee" by Chuck Berry
29. "Hot Fun In the Summertime" by Sly and the Family Stone
30. Talking to Claire online
31. Dinner with Elizabeth
32. Saturday nights with Dara
25.3.02
ON THE ROOMIE:
"your roommate will not make it beyond 52 hours unless he is using speed. if he is, then he will make it 63 hours and then collapse and either sleep for about 30 hours or go into a coma/seizure and expire. get the ER on speed dial so you dont have to go thru 911"
-Huc-Huc, wrong, but humorous nevertheless
"your roommate will not make it beyond 52 hours unless he is using speed. if he is, then he will make it 63 hours and then collapse and either sleep for about 30 hours or go into a coma/seizure and expire. get the ER on speed dial so you dont have to go thru 911"
-Huc-Huc, wrong, but humorous nevertheless
QUOTE: I literally laughed out loud when I read this:
"If Sept. 11 showed us anything, it's that we're all Americans together, and our black friends are just as excellent at being overprivileged celebrity fuckwads as anybody else."
-From Salon.com's Oscars article
"If Sept. 11 showed us anything, it's that we're all Americans together, and our black friends are just as excellent at being overprivileged celebrity fuckwads as anybody else."
-From Salon.com's Oscars article
QUOTE:
"I don't know about the rest of America, but I am proud that thugs like Khaddafi, murderers like Saddam Hussein, inquisitionists like the mullahs in Iran, criminals in Syria, medieval sheiks in the Gulf, and millions of others who do not vote, do not speak freely, oppress women, and are not tolerant of religious, gender, or ethnic diversity don't like me for being an American. I would find it repugnant if they did."
-Victor Davis Hanson, on NRO
"I don't know about the rest of America, but I am proud that thugs like Khaddafi, murderers like Saddam Hussein, inquisitionists like the mullahs in Iran, criminals in Syria, medieval sheiks in the Gulf, and millions of others who do not vote, do not speak freely, oppress women, and are not tolerant of religious, gender, or ethnic diversity don't like me for being an American. I would find it repugnant if they did."
-Victor Davis Hanson, on NRO
IDEA: One of my more morally elastic friends might want to try this. I'd be interested in hearing the results.
"OH BARTENDER....? [Jonah Goldberg]
Long time readers of my column know the story. When Marion Barry was re-elected Mayor of Washington DC -- largely by rallying his most loyal constituency, the "ex-offender community" -- my friends and I were at a bar. Convinced that Western Civilization was at an end, we decided to come up with a drink to commemorate Barry's victory. Mixing the most potent ebony elixirs we could – equal parts bourbon, Jägermaister, Kaluha and Coke (Coca Cola, that is) – we came up with the Marion Barry and the appropriate tag line: "So black not even The Man can keep it down!" It’s best not consumed at all but, if you must, order it as a shot. I bring this up because it looks like Mr. Barry is in trouble again, and right when he’s running for office."
"OH BARTENDER....? [Jonah Goldberg]
Long time readers of my column know the story. When Marion Barry was re-elected Mayor of Washington DC -- largely by rallying his most loyal constituency, the "ex-offender community" -- my friends and I were at a bar. Convinced that Western Civilization was at an end, we decided to come up with a drink to commemorate Barry's victory. Mixing the most potent ebony elixirs we could – equal parts bourbon, Jägermaister, Kaluha and Coke (Coca Cola, that is) – we came up with the Marion Barry and the appropriate tag line: "So black not even The Man can keep it down!" It’s best not consumed at all but, if you must, order it as a shot. I bring this up because it looks like Mr. Barry is in trouble again, and right when he’s running for office."
ROOMMATE UPDATE: He crashed (before I did, actually) at somewhere between 2:30 and 3:00 this morning, bringing his grand total to 39 hours. I believe that is a personal best for him. So that bet is closed (until he does this again), and, sadly, there were no winners. However, the bet as to whether or not he will flunk out is still open-- he missed at least one of his classes today, and when I came back to the room, he was playing his computer game... again... which means he probably didn't go to any of his classes. Slacker.
INCIDENTALLY: For those who keep score of such things, it's been 37.5 hours since my roommate was last asleep, a figure rendered all the more impressive by the fact that, as yet, he has moved from his seat at his computer less than a dozen times: once for a shower, twice for food, and a smattering of (no more than 6) times ostentisbly for bathroom visits. Again, in all seriousness, I will be taking bets as to when he collapses from exhaustion. I will further be taking bets as to whether or not he is an amphetamine addict (the only reason I can proffer for his unusual ability). And when he will be flunking out of school, since he never goes to class anymore, and reliable sources in the know about these things tell me that he seems to be doing quite badly.
22.3.02
21.3.02
MY IM AWAY MESSAGE: Since Claire is unlikely to see it:
"My new title: Claire's hero. You're not so bad yourself, dear. :o) And I like to think that, were I banished to a desert island with an endless supply of martinis (or smirnoff ice, or whatever you like, naturally), and was only allowed to take one other person with me, that Claire would be the most entertaining. After, that is, she forgives me for making her go to a desert island. Sorry, I'm incoherent, but you ought to be used to that by now :o)"
"My new title: Claire's hero. You're not so bad yourself, dear. :o) And I like to think that, were I banished to a desert island with an endless supply of martinis (or smirnoff ice, or whatever you like, naturally), and was only allowed to take one other person with me, that Claire would be the most entertaining. After, that is, she forgives me for making her go to a desert island. Sorry, I'm incoherent, but you ought to be used to that by now :o)"
I WAS AMUSED: I was sitting in the back of my PoliSci lecture on Wednesday, trying to pay attention and not notice the heat (it was 90 or so, as per normal). A bunch of people sitting in my row had already gotten up to leave. At 12:10 (30 minutes into the class), my GSI walks in and, instead of going to the front of the class (where he is supposed to be), he takes a seat a couple down from me. I turn back and try to pay attention, but my mind starts wandering, and pretty soon I'm just looking randomly around the room. I look at my GSI, he looks at me. We both start laughing. I know why I'm laughing-- because my GSI most definitely knows I'm not paying attention in class. I don't know why he was laughing. I turn to look at him again, and he's deeply into reading something... I look closer... he's studying for another class! EVEN THE GRAD STUDENTS DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THE LECTURES THEY HAVE TO TEACH ABOUT!!!
20.3.02
19.3.02
SORRY: but there's no difference between acting like an asshole and actually being an asshole. Doing the former automatically makes you the latter. And no one should want to be an asshole, even for women.
18.3.02
SORRY: I just had to post it. This is from one of my IM conversations, name omitted for reasons that will become obvious:
"i am crippled by a horrifying hangover and i did not go to bed until 5 a.m. and i just woke up w/o my pants (where are they? WHERE?) and there's STUFF in my keyboard"
This is, of course, not strictly speaking funny. But the part about the pants is hilarious. It's something of a running joke for me now.
"i am crippled by a horrifying hangover and i did not go to bed until 5 a.m. and i just woke up w/o my pants (where are they? WHERE?) and there's STUFF in my keyboard"
This is, of course, not strictly speaking funny. But the part about the pants is hilarious. It's something of a running joke for me now.
17.3.02
HOW DO I KNOW?: I think I can gauge my nervous-ness by the amount of time it takes me to pick something to wear. In fact, the reality that I worry about it is the first sign that I'm nervous. I've been at it for half an hour, and there are still four different clothing combinations sitting out, waiting for one to announce itself to me. The flipside is that I have already rejected about half a dozen other things that I own, though I've filed them away for later use. So, if nothing else, I've finally arrived vis-a-vis fabulousness.
15.3.02
OKAY: So my roommate has been awake for the last 24 hours plus. Granted, I don't know for sure that it's true: I was asleep from 3:30 to 8:15 today. But I also haven't been out of the room for more than 2 hours otherwise, and he's been sitting at his computer every time I've come into the room and every time I've left. The real question is when exactly he will collapse from exhaustion. In the spirit of the NCAA tournament, I will be taking bets. I say 5 a.m. tomorrow.
SENATOR TIPPER: It does have a certain ring to it... and it could happen. Bad news for Harold Ford, Jr., but good news for the Democratic Party. She could win, even.
QUOTE: "Genocide occurred after the cold war, after the growth of human rights groups; after the advent of technology that allowed for instant communication; after the erection of the Holocaust Museum on the Mall in Washington, DC."
-Samantha Power in the New York Review of Books, taking the traditional Left worldview to task. In the Review no less!
-Samantha Power in the New York Review of Books, taking the traditional Left worldview to task. In the Review no less!
READ IT, PT. II: A very good article on Martin Amis, Rushdie, and Hitchens, and their very unusual, if welcome, support for America. USA!
12.3.02
11.3.02
SCAB! SCAB! SCAB!: So I crossed the picket line today to turn in my philosophy homework. As I was walking up to Mason, I was having nightmares of having to go past one of my GSIs, or having a big mob of them hurling epithets at me. Instead, I got four SOLE kids (and I knew they were SOLE because I recognized one of them). So I chuckled to myself and crossed the picket line guilt-free, because hey, what's more fun than pissing off SOLE?
HAHA: The debate rages on
NotByronDorgan: no, I need shelf-type things
spacegirldreams: yeah... those aren't TOO expensive
NotByronDorgan: true
NotByronDorgan: unless you get the really nice ones... which are also the ones I want
spacegirldreams: well right.
spacegirldreams: but you're a snot
NotByronDorgan: I have good taste
NotByronDorgan: there's nothing wrong with that
spacegirldreams: snotty taste
NotByronDorgan: I'm unabashedly aristocratic when it comes to interior design... what can I say?
spacegirldreams: are you sure you're not gay?
NotByronDorgan: Well, there's the whole being sexually attracted to women and being repulsed by men thing
NotByronDorgan: but other than that, who knows?
NotByronDorgan: no, I need shelf-type things
spacegirldreams: yeah... those aren't TOO expensive
NotByronDorgan: true
NotByronDorgan: unless you get the really nice ones... which are also the ones I want
spacegirldreams: well right.
spacegirldreams: but you're a snot
NotByronDorgan: I have good taste
NotByronDorgan: there's nothing wrong with that
spacegirldreams: snotty taste
NotByronDorgan: I'm unabashedly aristocratic when it comes to interior design... what can I say?
spacegirldreams: are you sure you're not gay?
NotByronDorgan: Well, there's the whole being sexually attracted to women and being repulsed by men thing
NotByronDorgan: but other than that, who knows?
8.3.02
THE OTHER HALF: you're wondering, naturally, who they are. Huc-Huc, for one... and... crap... there was someone else who mentioned they read it. Then again, there's a whole cabal of people who have various levels of information about my online identity. For example, Mrs. H got my e-mail address from Meaghan Fothergill, who probably has it left over from the whole Election Response thing in 2000. And there is the crazy girl who tried to IM me that... whatever it was. Virus or something.
WATCH IT: I'll be at work then, so I can't, but I'll be making my parents tape it for me. This is better, really, because it will allow me to do my crying in private, as opposed to in front of my roommate (who still is probably confused over when I lost it reading the New York article on Mychel Judge). But you should all watch it. The link, so you know, is to the National Review article on the documentary, which is the best I've read thusfar.
7.3.02
SO: I went to my first business pitch today, for (hold your breath) new software for the library. Fascinating, I know. Well, after two hours of talk about MARC files and webite interface options, all I wanted to do was leave. As quickly as possible. In all honesty, I felt bad for the guy-- no one gave him good directions (it's not as if getting around in Ann Arbor is hard if you don't know how to do it), and he was obviously frazzled by losing about 45 minutes of time for his pitch. Fortunately, his complete and total lack of knowledge for what we were looking for and his ineptitude when it came to presenting his software saved the day, at least for me. Because, let's face it: if you can't laugh at someone else, who can you laugh at?
6.3.02
NOW: I'm no genius when it comes to organizing large numbers of people in an attempt to start some military action, but if I wanted to concentrate my allies, and and I didn't want the U.S. Government to know about it, I wouldn't go sending an e-mail to all my fundamentalist buddies. But then again, I'm not a terrorist
5.3.02
MAKING FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE'S RELIGIONS: It's fun!
"spacegirldreams: haha. the shakers
spacegirldreams: i wonder why that never really took off
NotByronDorgan: because their name was too close to the quakers
NotByronDorgan: everyone got confused
spacegirldreams: yeah that's likely why
spacegirldreams: too bad... that celibacy thing really could have gone somewhere
NotByronDorgan: what?
spacegirldreams: the shakers.... they didn't have sex.
spacegirldreams: .that's why there are no more shakers
NotByronDorgan: really?
spacegirldreams: among other reasons i suppose
NotByronDorgan: or this is just your theory?
spacegirldreams: no. it's true
NotByronDorgan: I find this dubious
spacegirldreams: look it up
NotByronDorgan: I suppose I'll take your word for it"
"spacegirldreams: haha. the shakers
spacegirldreams: i wonder why that never really took off
NotByronDorgan: because their name was too close to the quakers
NotByronDorgan: everyone got confused
spacegirldreams: yeah that's likely why
spacegirldreams: too bad... that celibacy thing really could have gone somewhere
NotByronDorgan: what?
spacegirldreams: the shakers.... they didn't have sex.
spacegirldreams: .that's why there are no more shakers
NotByronDorgan: really?
spacegirldreams: among other reasons i suppose
NotByronDorgan: or this is just your theory?
spacegirldreams: no. it's true
NotByronDorgan: I find this dubious
spacegirldreams: look it up
NotByronDorgan: I suppose I'll take your word for it"
"SOMETHING WITTY": I'd just like to put in a good word for Watching Ellie, which is rather entertaining to watch for something that is not on HBO, and I promise this is not just because Julia Louis-Dreyfus is really, really attractive. Even though she is. It's like a... fringe benefit for watching. Claire, I think you may be right. Sorry.
FRIGHTENING: from the Telegraph (UK):
"In the current issue, one columnist offers his New Statesman earnings to anyone who will kill President Bush though, given the notorious stinginess of the magazine's payments, that is unlikely to prove a tempting offer."
And these people are supposed to be our friends
"In the current issue, one columnist offers his New Statesman earnings to anyone who will kill President Bush though, given the notorious stinginess of the magazine's payments, that is unlikely to prove a tempting offer."
And these people are supposed to be our friends
4.3.02
MY RESULTS: Everything that was above 75%
be prepared to be shocked and amazed (or not surprised even a little):
1. Conservative Protestant (100%)
2. Eastern Orthodox (89%)
3. Roman Catholic (89%)
4. Seventh Day Adventist (84%)
5. Orthodox Quaker (83%)
6. Latter-day Saint (Mormon) (81%) (HA!)
7. Liberal Protestant (78%)
be prepared to be shocked and amazed (or not surprised even a little):
1. Conservative Protestant (100%)
2. Eastern Orthodox (89%)
3. Roman Catholic (89%)
4. Seventh Day Adventist (84%)
5. Orthodox Quaker (83%)
6. Latter-day Saint (Mormon) (81%) (HA!)
7. Liberal Protestant (78%)
WEIRD: I was on my way to the Grad, and I passed three blindfolded girls being led around by another girl. This was, by far, weirder than the day I saw two midgets on my way to class. I wonder (rhetorically) what they were up to. Fortunately, at least one of my friends could give an answer with a reasonable probability of being accurate. Off to sing a song, perhaps?
READ THIS: A almost trancendentally brilliant (if short) look into the religious underpinnings of that greatest of all rock and roll bands, U2, on National Review. Worth reading if you're Catholic, or religiously inclined, or if you want a better idea if what makes Bono tick.
MORE FUN: So I was driving to Meijer on Saturday, even though it was snowing, because I needed to get groceries for today. Yeah, the snow was deep. Yeah, I was in the car, not the minivan. Yeah, they hadn't cleared Wackerly when I was going down it. But accelerating (the road is straight, after all) seemed like a good idea. Trouble. That's all I have to say. As I was sliding around the road, trying to remember whether you steer into or out of skids (out of, apparently), I was fortunate enough to land myself up the curb on the opposite side of the road. Humiliating, yes. I should be (and am) grateful for the many, many people who stopped to offer to help (especially the man who let me use his cell phone to call my dad). But man, I felt like a f______ (as Camille might put it) idiot shoveling the car out for 45 minutes. And I didn't even do any damage. I just can't win sometimes.
HEHEHE (AGAIN): Apparently, I'm Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Is there anything better than taking quizzes that are wildly inappropriate for you? If you have others, I will take them and post as soon as I get my results. I feel fabulous and beautiful right now.
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