I'm no expert, but I think belittling someone for their stupidity when they have expressed interest in voting for your party is probably not a very smart move. If the Republicans are dismissive of College Republicans, that's a problem.
(For the record: I don't like articles of the "the way for x party to win an election is for it to take over all the policies of y party" variety, but I think it'd be more useful to point out to a concerned young potential Republican that the exact same thing was happening to the Democrats in 2004, and they managed their way out of that problem; so also for Republicans in 1996 or 98). Maybe it changes the author's opinions, maybe it doesn't. But what seems to be missing is knowledge of historical context, and that knowledge is something that can be transmitted to the author in much less annoying of a form.)
(Also, in re: sophomoric. She's 1.5 (approximately) years into college and, if she's anything like most college students, doesn't write particularly well, objectively speaking: can't alter her writing style for the occasion, creaky on building arguments, etc. All of this is perfectly normal and says nothing at all about her underlying level of intelligence or the writing ability that she might come into. Faulting her for being perhaps 20 and not having the world as a whole figured out seems like a significant failure of charity.)