1. Always tell your single friends that marriage is awesome.
Never ever tell a single person that marriage can be difficult. Never be honest that it can be challenging or takes work to maintain and grow. Whenever they ask you anything don't even use the Christian F word, "fine." Say instead, "awesome!" Marriage is awesome. It is perfect. It's easy and fun and is kind of like rolling around in a field of flowers and Kit Kats and pillows stuffed with rainbows 100% of the time. ...
4. Don't let them throw the Paul card.
Occasionally when a single person is shoved into a corner, they will strike back like an angry mongoose and say, "Paul was single." This is true and it's smart. The only good way to respond to that is by saying, "Paul was also shipwrecked, stoned and made tents. Do you want to make tents? Is that what you're saying? You want to be a tentmaker?" That is such baffling logic that usually it will give you enough time to regroup and point out more single people in the church that they should marry.
"Thou shalt not extinguish thine anger, but shall master it,
that thy conscience may not be blunted by adjustment
to wrong causes."
-The Dutch Ten Commandments to Foil the Nazis
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