Anti-Climacus

NITPICKING IV: At Michigan, we had what one might call the Iron Law of Party Starting Times: unless one knew the host and were specifically invited to come early, all parties began at 11:00. Insane, yes, but a perfectly sensible informal institution that solved the problem everyone would otherwise have about when to show up.

Yesterday, I attended a party which the evite said was to begin at 7:00. I arrived at 8:00, figuring this would make me acceptably late (one should never show such poor form as to arrive on time when the event is informal), and was instead the third person there. On arriving, I was informed that the time had been changed on the evite to 9:00 (and this, my friends, is why one should never use evite, since the time in fact had not been changed), which meant no one else showed up before 10:00. When I left a little after 11:00, it was to the sound and thorough disapproval of my friends.

What I think really grates for me is the informality of the starting time: one arrives on time (or close) for weddings, dinner parties, dinners, and pre-arranged meetings with friends, and doing so is a measure of consideration and interest for the other person: I enjoy your company, and so want to spend as much time as possible with you (and recognize that your time isn't infinite and want to extend the same courtesy). Nothing against my friends from last night, who followed the social convention; I just find there to be something good in the extra measure of formality (most of the time).