Anti-Climacus

LINK: I was highly amused by this, since I got all of them:

TEN HIPSTER-BAITING* STATEMENTS TO GET THE PARTY STARTED

1) "Elastica was actually an improvement on Wire because their songs actually go somewhere and are danceable; 'Connection' is superior to 'Three Girl Rhumba' because the Wire song doesn't go KAPOW!"
2) "Yeah, I like the solos on Marquee Moon. They remind me of the E Street Band gone psychedelic."
3) "What's wrong with Interpol sounding like Joy Division? It's not like Joy Division's gonna make any more records anyways."
4) "If rudimentary drumming ruins the White Stripes for you, I'll be glad to take that copy of the Ramones' first album off your hands, too."
5) "You know what Sleater-Kinney need? A wah-wah."
6) "What the Rapture has that Gang of Four didn't is an interest in making disco something other than fucking depressing."
7) "You hear the new Liz Phair? Apparently she learned how to sing!"
8) "They peaked with Dirty."
9) "He's wearing a trucker hat? Oh, sorry, I didn't notice."
10) "At least Is This It didn't have any 17-minute long songs about dripping candle wax on Joe Dallesandro's nipples or some bullshit like that."