Anti-Climacus

LINK: Bask in the love and happiness that is madpony.

Also, kristin madpony offers the following, which pretty much also applies to those who spend their finals weeks writing 25-page papers about exciting topics like the historiography of Lenin in 1917:

1. Stock up on all of the finals week essentials: blue books, caffeine, scantrons, caffeine, number two pencils, caffeine, caffeine, and caffeine. And caffeine.

2. Forget that figure, food is your friend this week. Failed your botany test? Eat a pizza. Who said there was anything wrong with drowning your sorrows in a box of oreos? Someday when you finally get that degree, you'll be able to afford the liposuction anyway. Yay obesity!

3. But on that note, alcohol is not your friend. Alcohol is your dirty, unfaithful, backstabbing ex-friend. Until the moment when you complete your last exam, at which time you will be reunited with your buddy in a bottle to live happily ever after for the rest of Christmas break.

4. Just don't even talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend this week. Just don't. Finals week is a very stressful time, and quite often, your loved one could mistake their intense hatred of chemistry for an intense hatred of YOU.

5. Being attractive during finals week is simply not important. What is important is your happiness. So put on the pajamas and the slippers and wear them to class, to the mall, to work, and to IHOP (see number 7.) Do shower and change your clothes from time to time, but only if you feel like it.

6. Got God in your life? This is a good time to become extremely religious. Visit a church, say a prayer, carry a Bible in your backpack. And when people ask you why you aren't studying, say you've put your test "in God's hands." Because Jesus cares whether or not you fail Understanding Art. He really, really does.

7. Spread your studying out, doing a little bit each day in the week before your tests. HAHAHAHA J/K wait until approximately 8 hours before your test, drive to the nearest IHOP, pop 2 or 3 Adderall, and study like it's your JOB until you pass out face first in your Belgian waffles. Test and repeat.