Anti-Climacus

QUOTE: from Tim Blair, the champagne of Australian blogs:

"DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE BRITAIN'S POET LAUREATE? You'd be surprised how easy it is, judging by the latest chunk o' verse from poet laureate Andrew Motion. And The Guardian thinks Motion's notions are extremely important, for some reason:

In a rare step for a poet laureate, Andrew Motion today speaks out in his newest poem against the momentum towards a US-led invasion of Iraq using British forces who would be serving nominally under the Queen.

In the 30-word poem, Motion, who was appointed by the Queen in 1999, sides with those who are "doubtful" about a war - and against the political leaderships of Britain and America.

Here's Motion's "newest poem":

CAUSA BELLI by Andrew Motion

They read good books, and quote, but never learn
a language other than the scream of rocket-burn.
Our straighter talk is drowned but ironclad:
elections, money, empire, oil and Dad.

Call that a poem? This is a poem:

COARSER BELLI by Handcare Lotion

They read good poems, and write, but never learn
a better phrase to rhyme with than fucking "rocket-burn".
How did you become Boss Poet when your poetry's so bad?
The fucking competition must be dead or fucking mad.

Not great, I admit, but it has a certain flow the original lacked. Think you can do better? Of course you can! Send your Causa Belli parodies my way, and I'll forward them to The Queen."