HAHAHA: From the New York Observer, a few various bits of advice:
ALL YOURS, HUCUL:
"3. Stop pretending you don't find President George W. Bush kinda hot. No matter what your persuasion, you have to admit that Dubya's earnest Texan big-daddy assertiveness and well-toned bod has a certain je ne sais fresh."
CAN'T HELP BUT LAUGH:
"5. Stop dressing like Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver ! That goes for you and you and you. Previous exhortations in this column to reduce the slut quotient in your personal style have been met with rebellious indifference. I'm giving you one more chance to refresh your look: Rent the Scorsese classic, take a long, hard look at Jodie's hot pants and decide if you think they're wartime-appropriate. And while you're at it, stop pretending to be an expert on Middle Eastern affairs and support the country that gives you the freedom to flaunt yourself à la Jodie in Taxi Driver. Cancel any planned European vacations until they--France and Germany in particular--adopt a more U.S.-friendly tone."
WORST ADVICE NICK IS SERIOUSLY CONTEMPLATING ACTING ON:
"11. Why not refresh your stale-smelling apartment with a jasmine-honeysuckle-gardenia olfactory orgasm for the New Year? Wait until the steam heat is blasting, and then spray your radiators liberally with Kate Spade's new eau de parfum ($58 for 1.7 oz.). Inhale deeply."
"Thou shalt not extinguish thine anger, but shall master it,
that thy conscience may not be blunted by adjustment
to wrong causes."
-The Dutch Ten Commandments to Foil the Nazis
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